In the blink of an eye. They're born. They die. To an immortal every
human life is over in the space between one thought and the next. The
more we care the faster the lives fly until those we love best die as
they are born. Like a kinetoscope, they flicker by, flare briefly, then
are gone. An endless stream of humanity. A blip on the radar of
history, no more than that. Just a moment in time. All life ends.
Assez vu, assez eu, assez connu.1
Some shine more brightly than others. She was my anchor and without her
I am adrift on a darkling sea, light and land far distant. Mo cridhe.
My shade. My shelter.
Sunnydale is too small a town to contain her death. It
expands outward in waves that rock the foundations of the world and we
all tremble. Crumbling. Emptiness. Ash.
Ce n'est plus que poussiere. Dans cet abîme enseveli, j'ai le même
destin. Le monde me quitte, vous vous en allez. Je ne puis demeurer
pas loin de toi. Elle est morte, et n'a point vécu. Elle faisant semblant
de vivre. Et maintenant elle vit nulle part excepté mon coeur.
Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
heart is no longer habitable, and a cold wind blows through empty rooms
flooded by tears of grief, the rain that death brings. Larmes. Pleurs.
5 Hold open the
door to eternity. Nous sommes mors, ame ne nous harie.
It's been several months now. Time passed slowly, like watching a
clock face with no hands. I wasn't sane. The madness was brief but
frightening. That abyss plunged deeply into the earth, drew me with it,
filled me with darkness. I wanted to stay there, or go to wherever Buffy
now dwells, fulfill my destiny at her side. Or better yet, meet the
coming tide of evil and forget her death in the dust of others'.
I don't remember much
except the pain. I thought I knew grief before, but it was only a
sketch of the finished work. I was buried, smothered. Dust filled my
lungs. There was no air or light. I had to be reminded to breathe,
that there was still love in the world, that there was still a world.
It was love that pulled me away, and also that held me here.
I was wrong about the life span of those we love best. As long as there
are people alive who remember them, love them, they will live forever in
our hearts. I must live for her so she will survive. That is the true